I was standing off-stage preparing to read a poem to a gathering of about 100 people recently when I noticed something odd: My palms were sweaty, my head felt hot, and my heart was beating in my ears.
What the heck? I thought. Reading a poem is not on my list of “hard things to do." Why am I losing my sh%#? I’m a public speaking coach! Shouldn’t I have worked through this, long ago? Apparently not.
What was happening to me?
Well, for one, I was very invested in doing “a good job” because I admired the person who had asked me to read the poem AND I knew a lot of people in the audience AND I didn’t want to disappoint anyone or make them wonder why they asked me to read a poem in the first place. So… fear (of failure) was the first place I went.
With only minutes to go, I recalled Deb Dana’s book The Nervous System Workbook about befriending your nervous system and I recognized my physical response as my sympathetic nervous system kicking in. My fear had energized me with an increased heartbeat so that I could either fight or flee the danger.
But was the danger real? I needed to find out.
So, instead of fighting or fleeing, I slowed things down long enough to look at the people in the room. I REALLY looked into their faces and I asked myself:
Am I safe?
Yes was the answer that came to me. I am safe. And then something shifted.
My feelings of nervousness didn't stop dead but they stopped escalating. In fact, my slightly energized state let me sprint onto the stage and read the poem. But because I had taken the time to pause and assess my own safety, once I got on the stage, I didn’t need to rush. I planted my feet and took my time and, in the end, I felt proud of how I delivered the poem to the audience. And really, my own assessment of how I did meant more to me than anyone else’s accolades.
Meet Deb Dana and "Calm Your Nerves and Your Public Speaking Anxiety"
This story illustrates why I’m so excited to introduce you to my recent podcast interview with Deb Dana, therapist and expert on polyvagal theory. Listen or watch to learn how befriending your nervous system can help you calm down when you're speaking in public and just in your life, in general.
Scroll down for links to 2-minute teasers from the podcast.
But that’s not all!
With so much happening in our world and in this season right now, I’ve compiled a list of all the other things I’m doing to help me calm down and center myself. Since you might need to find a little peace now too, I thought some of these resources might help you too.
Gigi's best resources for finding calm
amidst a sea of nerves
READ Wendell Berry's poem, "The Peace of Wild Things." Better yet, watch this beautifully illustrated animation with the poet reading this short poem to you.
PRACTICE MEDITATION with these resources:
The Calm App features short, easy meditations for morning, noon and night.
These 2 meditation centers have many online offerings:
FIND A PRACTITIONER FOR
Massage Therapy near where you live.
Alexander Technique - If you don't live in NYC, you can book online sessions with Belinda Mello of AT Motion. Please tell Belinda that Gigi referred you.
Yoga - Do yoga anywhere with the Yoga Anytime App. They have classes at all levels, some as short as 10 minutes.
May you find peace and calm in the month ahead.
Photo by Aradhika Sharma on Unsplash